Television finales have a statistical irony: they frequently pull large viewers to the final chapter of a television series that, in most cases, is failing to make any noise at all in its final years.
In 1983, 105 million people tuned in to witness the final episode of the classic sitcom MAS*H. Cheers’ final episode was watched by 80.4 million people a decade later. In 1998, 76 million people watched the final episode of Seinfeld, and 52.5 million people watched Friends when it concluded in 2004. Have you noticed the pattern yet?
Each dwindling audience is a reflection of the passing of time. Not only is television becoming increasingly fragmented, with ever-smaller chunks, fractions, and demographics. However, television finales are no longer the monumental events they once were.
Most, but not all, of these television shows, are canceled before they reach their conclusion, and some – sadly – aren’t even given the opportunity to say their goodbyes. Friends became too pricey to continue making in the end. And Seinfeld, which was always rare even in its prime, chose to leave the show at the peak of its popularity.
Neighbours, a smaller player in some respects but no less legendary in others, is on the verge of being canceled in Australia. Television’s modern balance sheets have cashed it in, and without a UK production partner, the end is imminent.
Is there, nevertheless, a silver lining? Now is the time for the series to chart its final course. While one school of thought suggests keeping all possibilities open in case a last-minute rescue comes from a left-field broadcast investor, another contends that nearly 40 years of storytelling need a conclusion.
In many ways, the termination of Neighbours is an oddity in and of itself. It isn’t the most popular soap in the UK; that honor goes to Coronation Street, which has 5.5 million viewers, Emmerdale, which has 4.8 million, and EastEnders, which has 3 million. But it still brings in a million dollars a day.
The show’s drawbacks stem from its schedule – daytime television, where network earnings are thin and increasingly thinner – as well as the industry’s shift away from long-running appointment dramas and toward short-order, blue-chip, view-on-demand dramas.
As a result, the writer’s room at Neighbours is now at a fork in the road. The show will be in production until June, giving them a few months to come up with a fitting conclusion for a show that has been a staple of Australian (and British) culture for nearly four decades.
At the same time, Fremantle, the show’s producer, will be in talks with other broadcasters in the hopes of securing an agreement that will save the show from cancellation. A deal like this might be made until the very last day of filming. Preparation for a “real” series finale, on the other hand, will take much longer.
Making the appropriate decision at this moment is difficult due to the perfect combination of a ticking time and the sluggish turn into the last racecourse length. Although a quickly scripted finale could be the greatest commercial strategy, it would be devastating for the show and its devoted followers.
Six ways to put an end to Neighbours
The Seinfeld way
Paul (Stefan Dennis), Clive (Geoff Paine), Jane (Annie Jones), and Melanie (Lucinda Cowden) are charged with crimes against common television decency and are condemned to prison. What’s the story’s twist? Prisoner: Cell Block Erinsborough is a possible spin-off.
The Sopranos way
Sheila Canning (Colette Mann) reappears as a crime leader, seizes control of Lassiter’s, and launders her illicit wealth. However, while she is putting the laundry away, an assassin points his weapon at her, and the screen goes black. What’s the story’s twist? Ten can order a series of telemovies based on The Godmother.
The St. Elsewhere way
Roxy Willis (Zima Anderson) goes to the local markets and buys a snow globe to bring home. Surprisingly, the snow globe includes a reproduction of Ramsay Street. What’s the story’s twist? Is it merely a toy, or have the previous 37 years occurred within the snow globe?
The Buffy the Vampire Slayer way
Terese (Rebekah Elmaloglou), better known as Sophie, The Vampire Slayer, begins a new job as an undead hunter, Toadie Rebecchi (Ryan Moloney) earns his wings and becomes an Angel, and Erinsborough descends into a crater in a startling twist. What’s the story’s twist? A horror film franchise with a spin-off.
The Dallas way
Jane (Annie Jones) wakes up to the sound of the water running on a typical Erinsborough day. Mike Young (Guy Pearce) is showering when she walks into the bathroom and opens the shower. “Good morning, Jane!” he exclaims. What’s the story’s twist? Is it all a nightmare?
The Friends way
Also referred to as “The One Where Everyone Moves To Brisbane.” It’s time for Paul (Stefan Dennis), Clive (Geoff Paine), Jane (Annie Jones), Melanie (Lucinda Cowden), Glen (Richard Huggett), Karl (Alan Fletcher), and Susan (Jackie Woodburne) to leave Ramsay Street and start a new life in Queensland.